Kintsugi
by waveitdowninside
Summary: "Did you know that the Japanese believe that brokenness can make something even more beautiful?" 5 years after the war, the wizarding world is still healing. Hermione Granger is struggling to move on, and the last thing she needs is a distraction. But what if some distractions are actually the true path to healing and acceptance? Slow burn. Fred/Hermione. Lots of chapters ahead.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione Granger took a big breath of fresh air once she stepped through the glass window exit of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries onto the busy London street. The feeling of cool water enveloping her body helped her heart calm down and her breathing steady. She had done it. After putting it off for so many years, she finally submitted her application as a healer. She took an extra moment to breathe a little deeper one more time before she opened her eyes, then she began to make her way back to 12 Grimmauld Place where her two best friends were waiting for her.

It's been 5 years since the Battle of Hogwarts, and the wizarding community has managed to rebuild itself to the point where you would never been able to tell that a war had just took place, but the wounds of war run deep. Most wizards and witches have only truly started to heal. Hermione was one of them.

Once Hogwarts was rebuilt, Hermione decided to go back and finish her education. Harry and Ron both decided to move on and start their auror training. The ministry, of course, was more than happy to oblige. They were all very supportive of each other's decision, and the two made sure to always visit Hermione as often as they could. She would never voice it out, but a small part of her was glad that she would be going to back to Hogwarts by herself. It's not that she doesn't care for them anymore, she loves her two best friends more than ever after everything they've been through, but she just needed to be away from them for a while. As much as she wanted to celebrate their victory with them, it actually physically hurt her to be around them. Sometimes it would be a simple word, a surprise touch, or even the slightest ruffle, her chest would suddenly constrict and feel leaden at the same time while she was drowning in the air she was trying to breathe. She loved them more than ever after everything they've been through, but she knew that she had to heal away from them. It just brought back too many memories and reopened too many wounds.

While she was at Hogwarts, it was as if she was on autopilot. She was Hermione Granger, Gryffindor Hogwarts student once again. Except this time, she raised her hand noticeably less, she went to the library even less often, and people only ever saw her in class. Ginny and Luna knew that the only places Hermione ever goes to now are either the lake or the edge of the Forbidden Forest. For that entire year she simply couldn't bear staying inside those walls for too long. It was as if every corner of the castle had an invisible memorial dedicated to a friend they had lost, and she just had to get away. She fought against this pain everyday while she was in Hogwarts. She was strong. She was Hermione Granger, and she would see this to the very end no matter how hard it was for her to go back to her school. She finished at the top of her class, and she dedicated her speech to her fellow students that never made it on that very stage, or to the parents and friends who never got a chance to sit in the Great Hall with them.

After all the photos and congratulations, Hermione, Harry, and Ron decided to stay behind, and go around Hogwarts. The trio walked around in silence except for the moments when they'd reminisce in certain areas. They reached the seventh floor and found themselves in the corridor where the Room of Requirement could be found.

"Let's give it a go shall we," Harry asked his two best friends.

They looked at him with confusion, as he paced back and forth three times in front of the wall until a door finally appeared.

Harry took Hermione's hand while she took Ron's, and the three of them stepped into the room together. When they entered, all three of them gasped as Harry fell to his knees crying. Ron and Hermione sat on the floor with him as they all finally let go of all the emotions they'd been trying to control while going around their former home.

The room was filled with so many floating candles that it seemed like even they themselves were glowing. There were flowers in wreaths, bouquets, stands, and everything in between covering the room from floor to ceiling. On the walls were portraits and snapshots of all the people they've lost. Each portrait had names and inscriptions:

**JAMES POTTER**

_Father_

_Husband_

_Friend_

_Hero_

**LILLY POTTER**

_Mother_

_Wife_

_Friend_

_Hero_

**SIRIUS BLACK**

_Godfather_

_Friend_

_Hero_

**ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**

_Friend_

_Mentor_

_Professor_

_Hero_

**REMUS LUPIN**

_Father_

_Husband_

_Friend_

_Hero_

**NYMPHADORA TONKS**

_Mother_

_Wife_

_Friend _

_Hero_

**PERCY WEASELEY **

_Brother_

_Son_

_Friend_

_Hero_

**ALASTOR –**

"Hermione, what's wrong," she heard a familiar voice ask, breaking her out of her memories.

Harry and Ron were suddenly running up to her. She realized she was a few houses away from 12 Grimmauld Place.

"What happened? Do you need us to come back with you," Ron asked.

"What are you talking about? It went well! They accepted my application! The examination is in 6 months. What are you on about?" she responded quickly, still a little bit shaken.

Harry pulled a face while Ron stepped closer to wipe something from her cheek. She felt her face, and realized that there was wetness there. She had been crying.

She smiled at them and said, "Oh. That. Don't worry about it, seriously. I guess I was just looking back at everything that led up to this point; everything that happened after the war."

Her two best friends stepped closer, and hugged her.

"Hermione, we are so proud of you," Harry said as he pulled away.

"Yeah, well, when were ever not proud of you though," Ron added sheepishly. He had let go of the hug, but kept his arm around her while she leaned into him. This made her smile. Even after everything, she realized that some things never change.

"Oh stop it you two. What are you doing out here anyway," she asked.

Ron let go and stood beside Harry to face her. "Well, to be honest, we were going to go to St. Mungo's, and check up on you. We thought you were taking a little too long, and that you might have needed some help. I mean not that you ever really need any help, but just you know, just some moral support," Ron said while looking at the ground.

"Oh Ronald honestly," she chided him. "We've faced a basilisk and several death eaters, even Voldemort himself. I can get to St. Mungo's and back just fine," she added light-heartedly.

Harry gave her a pointed look, but smiled at her anyway. She couldn't help herself, she hugged her two best mates one more time.

"I wouldn't have gotten here without you two. Thank you both so much," she said while hugging them tightly.

"Now come on. Let's get back to your place Harry, I quite need a drink," she said while letting them go.

She got lost telling them about her trip to St. Mungo's, that she didn't notice that they stepped back a bit once she had opened the door.

"SURPRISE!"

"NOOOOO!", Hermione screamed, and a bolt of red light shot out from her wand.

Everything happened so fast. Ron rushed past her while Harry pulled her to him trying to calm her down. When she lifted her head from Harry's shoulder, she saw a group of people surrounding an unconscious Weasley twin.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh no, oh no, oh no. Merlin, no please. Please, no, no. Oh Merlin, I am so sorry."

"Hermione."

"Oh Merlin no please."

"Hermione."

"Merlin please no. Oh no. Merlin, what have I done?"

"HERMIONE."

The sound of her name pulled her away from the dark place that had enveloped her. She blinked a couple more times, and realized that Harry was holding her back while tears were streaming down her face. She was struggling against him to get to George. Or Fred. Merlin, she didn't even know who was on the floor. A second later she realized, the Weasley twin on the floor still had both his ears.

Molly Weaseley cradled her son's head in her lap while trying to hold back her tears. Arthur and Kingsley were performing spells on Fred trying to figure out the best way to bring him back to consciousness without any damage.

Hermione looked at Harry, and said, "Harry no wait it's ok. I'm ok. I'm fine. I know how to help him."

When he saw that her eyes weren't glazed over anymore, he let her go. He shadowed her while she stepped closer to Fred. She saw Mrs. Weaseley flinch when she knelt down and tried to touch Fred's face.

Without looking at anyone Hermione said, "I know how to help him. I can do it."

She pulled out her wand once more, and whispered, "Respira", while touching it to Fred's chest.

Fred awoke with a huge intake of breath, and looked around in panic for a second, then his face softened when he saw Hermione sitting above him. He suddenly laughed out loud, and reached for his twin's hand to pull him back up.

"Well that's one way to start a party," Fred said while still laughing.

George helped his mom up, and she rushed at Fred immediately hugging him. All of the guests converged on Fred asking him if he was alright.

Harry saw Hermione still kneeling on the floor, and sat down beside her. He pulled her in, and tucked her head in the crook of his neck. "Do you want to step out first," he asked. She nodded and let him help her up.

Once they were outside, she sank to the first step of Grimmauld Place and started sobbing. However, as soon as Harry sat down beside her, she bolted right back up again and started screaming.

"How could I have been so stupid?! Bloody stupid and careless! Merlin, what if I had really hurt him," she shouted while pacing back and forth.

Harry stood up and held her arms firmly. "Hermione look at me," he told her gently.

She couldn't. She was so ashamed of herself. The war was over. They're supposed to be okay already. She's supposed to be okay already. She finally applied to St. Mungo's for Merlin's sake. She has to go back there tomorrow. She needs to take back her application. She can't do this. She can't do this to her future patients. She's not ready. She can't do this. She just can't.

"Hermione please," Harry said, louder this time.

She finally looked at him, and saw the concern in his eyes. She had to look away again. She twisted herself free from his hold, and started walking away from the house.

"Hermione wait!," he said as he caught up with her.

"I can't do it Harry, I just can't," she replied while walking away even faster.

Harry decided to step in front of her to stop her.

"Hermione, please. Just look at me," he pleaded with her.

She looked up to see his face etched with pain and worry. She hated doing this to the people she cared about. Why can't they see that she's just bringing them down? She can't be around them anymore. They'll be better off without her. She'll be ok without them. She looked away again, but let him pull her into a hug again.

"Breathe, Hermione. You're shaking," he said.

She didn't even notice. She felt so exhausted. She just wanted to disappear.

"Don't beat yourself up over this please. You've been doing really great Hermione. This was our fault really. We should have figured surprising you like that wouldn't be the best way to congratulate you," he said while pulling away.

She scoffed at that. "You bloody idiots," she said jokingly. Deep down she knew Harry was right, but she just couldn't accept it. It was all her fault; she pushed herself when she knew she wasn't ready yet.

"Look, if you want we can just grab a cup of tea at that place that you like. I'll send my patronus to let everyone know that we're alright," he said even if he knew that she really wasn't. None of them were really.

She smiled, "Yeah that sounds –" Before she could finish her sentence, she heard Ron calling for her and Harry.

"Harry! Hermione! Everyone's really worried. Mum's upset that you just disappeared, Hermione. She said you might have misunderstood. They're all waiting for you lot. Fred's fine, a little weak, but he's ok," he panted out.

Harry looked at her in question. She put on a smile and said, "Yeah. Right. Ok, let's head back then."

On their way back, Harry told her that if she needed to leave, all he had to do was tell him or Ron, and they'd take care of everything. She felt so grateful to have friends as understanding as them, but she wasn't about let this episode get the best of her. She's Hermione _bloody_ Granger. She's going to put on a brave face, and spend time with the people she cares about the most. She knows she needs this even if every fiber in her body is begging her to retreat and disappear.

The first person she saw when she stepped through the door was Mrs. Weaseley. She gave her a soft smile, and crossed the room to hug Hermione.

"It's alright dear. We've all been there," Mrs. Weaseley told her softly as she wiped away a few stray tears on her face.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Weaseley. I swear I've got it all under control. I was just a bit strung out from that trip to St. Mungo's," she explained.

"Now, now Hermione no need to apologize. It was an accident; there was no harm done," she said softly.

She smiled at her second mother one more time before setting off to look for Fred. She didn't have to look too long though because the moment she turned around, she saw Fred leaning on the living room's doorframe smiling at her.

"Oh Fred –"

"Granger it's alright," he said smiling softly. She didn't know how to move or what to say. Seeing her hesitation, he walked over to her and gave her a quick hug.

"Before you get all teary-eyed again, I want you to know that really it's alright. Although it would have been loads funnier if you had hexed Ron instead," he teased.

"That's not funny Fred," she poked back.

"Yeah? Makes for the better story though," he said.

She made a face at him, but couldn't help herself and laughed. The twins could make anyone feel better.

"Come on. Let's grab a drink, you look like you need it even more than I do," he said as he put his arm around her.

She had a better time than she originally thought she would. She had missed all of them so much.

At the end of the night, it was only she, Harry, and Ron left in the house. They were both helping Harry tidy up, when she realized something.

"Ron, Harry, wait a minute. Why did you guys throw me this party again," she asked.

"We wanted to celebrate you taking the first steps towards your dream, Hermione. It's a huge step. Merlin knows we've all been there," Harry said simply and smiled at her.

She couldn't help but smile at her two best friends at that.

When she finally arrived at her flat, she was so exhausted that she just collapsed on her bed, and fell into a fitful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione woke up to a beautiful spring day. She felt that it would be a great idea to study at her favorite teashop today. She missed the place quite a bit, and she knew some fresh air would be good for her. It's been a week since the party, and she hasn't really spoken to anyone since. She was still very embarrassed about what happened. There have been numerous owls from her friends, but she just couldn't get around to responding to them.

When she opened the door to her flat, she was shocked to see the Weasley twins right outside her door.

"Blimey Hermione!" George exclaimed. "Thought you were gonna throw a hex at us."

She made an embarrassed groan, and covered her face.

"We're just pulling your leg, love," Fred said laughing while pulling her into a hug.

"We brought you breakfast," George said beaming, and made his way inside.

"Well, come on then. We brought you some tea," Fred said as he put his arm around her, and led her inside.

George was already putting out all the food containers, when they turned into the small dining area. It was a small table; just enough for four people, but the food the George was setting looked more than enough to feed ten.

"Hold on, let me get some plates and utensils," she said pulling away from Fred.

"I'll help you," said Fred matching his steps with her.

"A little birdie told me you're starting to drop off the face of the earth again," he tried to say casually as she was handing him some plates.

She rolled her eyes at him, and continued to move around her small kitchen.

"It's nothing," she answered while still avoiding his gaze. "I've just been busy studying, that's all."

"If this is still about the party –"

"You mean my fuck-up?," she interrupted.

"No, Hermione don't do this to yourself," he said as he put down what he was holding and stood in front of her.

She looked up at Fred with a hard look in her eyes, but decided against saying something about the party. She didn't want them to know how much that whole incident really bothered her.

So she put on a smile and said, "Let's go have breakfast," while touching his arm in reassurance. He picked up what she had left behind, and followed her silently to her small dinning area.

"We didn't really know what type of breakfast food you liked, so we just got you a bunch of stuff," George said.

"I know you ate a lot of oatmeal and yogurt back in Hogwarts though, so we got you a lot of that," Fred added.

She smiled at their thoughtfulness, and sat down between the twins.

"So what brings you guys here," she asked in between bites.

"Fred's come to formally start a courtship with you, and I'm here for moral support," George said with a smile.

"Or, you know, maybe just slip in some Amortentia into your oatmel," added Fred with a mischievous grin.

She put down the spoonful of oatmeal she was about to swallow, and glared at the two. She couldn't help herself, however, and she started to laugh.

"Oi! Don't laugh! What if I really am here to declare my love for you, and now you're just laughing at my efforts," Fred exclaimed in a hurt voice.

"Really now? Well on with it then, declare your intentions Fred Weasley," she replied with a sly smile.

"Ms. Hermione Jean Granger, I would like to declare my intentions to have you laugh just one more time today," he said more softly then she had anticipated.

She was taken aback by the sincerity in his tone. She stared at him a little open-mouthed without being able to respond.

"I told you my presence was the lucky charm Fred. I do believe she has accepted your offer. Would m'lady like to formally voice her assent," George teased.

"You guys are just insufferable you know that," she said with a grin.

"I think the word you're looking for is charming, don't you think so George?"

"Charming and attractive, Fred, I'm sure is the right phrase."

Hermione just rolled her eyes at them, but she couldn't keep the small smile forming on her lips.

"It really is good to hear you laugh again, Granger," Fred said with while returning her smile.

She was a bit surprised by that comment, and she started feeling a little too warm, so she changed the topic right away.

"Did Harry and Ron send you," she asked the twins.

"They didn't have to," George answered.

"We sent you an owl too you know," added Fred.

"Yeah three to be exact. A letter from the both of us, and then one from each of us because we didn't know who you'd be more comfortable responding to," George said.

Hermione couldn't look at them. "Yeah. Sorry. No. I uh, just been really busy that's all," she answered.

Fred put his hand on her arm, which made her look at him. For a second she was afraid she'd find pity in his eyes; the same look she's seen from everyone for the past 4 years. Instead she found understanding, there was sadness, but there was also understanding.

"My favorite's French toast by the way," she said trying to change the topic. She felt a little too warm again. She's just not comfortable with the attention she told herself.

"My parents and I went to France when I was younger, and there was this French-American restaurant near our hotel we'd go to every morning, and I would always order French toast and a side of bacon. I mean, I know it's quintessentially French or anything, I just really enjoyed those times with my parents," she added.

"How are they? Have you spoken to them lately," George asked.

"They've finally put up their own practice there. They love their new life in Australia. They really how everything is so laidback " she answered with a smile.

"We can visit them tomorrow if you'd like," Fred suggested.

"What? No! It's alright really! I haven't gotten around to connecting their house to the Floo Network yet. I don't have the time to fly there," she answered taken aback by his sudden suggestion.

"Wait, you can go all the way to Australia on a broom? I thought you hated flying," said Fred.

"No, no, I don't go there on a broom. I use a plane to get there," Hermione responded.

"Those noisy buggers? Seems unnecessary," George added.

"We can help you get their house connected to the Floo Network," Fred offered.

"Yeah, Fred's right. With dad's connections, and well, you being you, it should be no problem."

She was genuinely surprised at how thoughtful the twins were, but her parents' house wasn't connected to the network not because she wasn't sure how to go about it. She just really couldn't yet.

She smiled at them and said, "Don't worry about it you two, I'll fix it up next week. Thank you for the offer though."

The morning passed by quickly, and by time the twins were leaving, it was way past noon. She walked them outside her building, and gave each of them a hug.

Before they left however, Fred faced her and said, "Come by the shop tomorrow, and we'll take you to lunch yeah? Still need to hear that laugh one more time."

"Yeah Granger that would be great. See, my brother needs to work a little more on his charm, whereas I can get the girl on the first try," George teased.

She rolled her eyes at them for the nth time that, but she smiled and said, "Sure, I'll be there before 12."

"I'll be counting down the hours, Ms. Hermione Jean," Fred said with a wink, and the twins apparated back to their shop.

She can't believe the twins got the last word in, but she couldn't help but a little too warm again. It was nice though. She didn't realize how much she missed being around people.

She walked back up her flat subconsciously counting down the hours before lunch the next day.


End file.
